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Duchess of Sussex, Meghan tells of miscarriage ‘pain and grief’

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The Duchess of Sussex has revealed she had a miscarriage in July, writing in an article of feeling “an almost unbearable grief”.

“I knew, as I clutched my firstborn child, that I was losing my second,” Meghan said in a piece for the New York Times.

She went on to describe how she watched “my husband’s heart break as he tried to hold the shattered pieces of mine”.

Meghan wrote that “loss and pain have plagued every one of us in 2020”.

The 39-year-old shared her experience to urge people to “commit to asking others, ‘are you OK?'” over the Thanksgiving holiday in the US.

A source close to the duchess confirmed to the BBC that the duchess is currently in good health and the couple wanted to talk about what happened in July, having come to appreciate how common miscarriage is.

A Buckingham Palace spokesman said: “It’s a deeply personal matter we would not comment on.”

The duchess and Prince Harry, the Duke of Sussex, moved to California to live away from the media spotlight, after stepping back as senior royals in January.

Their first child, Archie, was born on 6 May 2019.

 

Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex and Meghan, Duchess of Sussex and their baby son Archie Mountbatten-Windsor at a meeting with Archbishop Desmond Tutu in South Africa on 25 September 2019

The duchess began her article by describing a “sharp cramp” she felt while looking after Archie.

“I dropped to the floor with him in my arms, humming a lullaby to keep us both calm, the cheerful tune a stark contrast to my sense that something was not right,” she wrote.

“Hours later, I lay in a hospital bed, holding my husband’s hand. I felt the clamminess of his palm and kissed his knuckles, wet from both our tears.

“Staring at the cold white walls, my eyes glazed over. I tried to imagine how we’d heal.”

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Meghan made it clear from the first event that she spoke at as Harry’s bride-to-be that she wanted women’s voices and women’s experiences to be heard more clearly.

Now she has written of her loss, and her heartbreak. She has set it in the context of a year of breathtaking turbulence. And she has made a plea for tolerance and compassion.

She weaves in the struggles of so many with Covid-19, the battles over truth and lies in our divided age, the killing of black Americans by the police.

And on an experience that so many women have lived through, she has made her grief a way of bringing miscarriage closer to the everyday conversation.

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The duchess continued: “Losing a child means carrying an almost unbearable grief, experienced by many but talked about by few.

“In the pain of our loss, my husband and I discovered that in a room of 100 women, 10 to 20 of them will have suffered from miscarriage.

“Yet despite the staggering commonality of this pain, the conversation remains taboo, riddled with (unwarranted) shame, and perpetuating a cycle of solitary mourning.

“Some have bravely shared their stories; they have opened the door, knowing that when one person speaks truth, it gives license for all of us to do the same.”

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