Chrissy Teigen lost her son Jack only weeks ago and has quietly been dealing with the pain ever since with the help of her husband John Legend.
On Tuesday the 34-year-old supermodel opened up about her heartbreaking ordeal in a brave essay posted to Medium.
‘I had no idea when I would be ready to write this. Part of me thought it would be early on, when I was still really feeling the pain of what happened,’ began the cover girl as she detailed her loss and how the kindness of strangers has helped her recover.
She added, ‘I thought I would sit in the corner of my bedroom with the lights dimmed, just rolling off my thoughts. I’d have a glass of red wine, cozy up with a blanket, and finally get the chance to address “what happened.”‘
Teigen explained she was on her downstairs couch in a blanket after a morning of friends and fried chicken.
‘I’m reading off countless notes from my phone — thoughts that have randomly popped up in the weeks since. I didn’t really know how I would start this, no matter the room or state I was in, but it feels right to begin with a thank you,’ she said.
The catwalker said flowers and notes from fans have meant a lot to her. ‘After we first lost Jack, I found myself incredibly worried that I wasn’t able to thank everyone for their extreme kindness,’ she shared.
Many shared ‘incredible personal experiences,’ books and poems.
‘I wanted to thank everyone, share our story with each individual person. But I knew I was in no state to. For me, the “no need to respond” note was such a true relief. I thank you for each and every one of those.’
One of the standout moments was when she went through the halls of labor and delivery, and John saying “What, is there a f***ing party going on here??”’
‘I was about to fully deliver what was supposed to be the 5th member of our beautiful family, a son, only to say goodbye moments later. People cheered and laughed right outside our door, understandably for a new life born and celebrated. You kind of wonder how anyone is thinking about anyone but you,’ she said.